Women struggle with pornography.  This is not simply a man’s issue.  There are more and more women struggling with pornography each day.  In the evangelical world we have spent a great deal of time focusing on helping men with this struggle, but we miss the women who are succumbing to this dangerous desire. We need to be more aware of how women struggle with this issue. The following are three common dangers that could lead women down this sinful road and what the Bible has to say concerning these dangers.

1. Dreaming

Romance novels, movies, television and the internet each contribute to dreaming.  For most women there is nothing wrong with any of these.  The problem begins when the scenes read or seen produce romantic or sexual pleasure in the mind.  Because it is pleasurable, the thoughts are rehearsed over and over again producing an obsession with unreal expectations.  An entire world of fantasy can be developed in her mind that will lead to believing lies.  These lies might include romantic notions of sexual encounters with other men or even women. “Yet in like manner these people also, relying on their dreams, defile the flesh, reject authority, and blaspheme the glorious ones.” (Jude 8). Though this verse is a description of false teachers and how they operate we can draw an important principle from it.  When we begin to dream about encounters which are romantic and inviting, it can lead to sexual immorality.  This is pornography.  The act of dreaming on the same topic over and over again begins to affect how we think.  Dreaming about romance can lead to emotions of longing which can then lead to actual activity in order to feed those emotions.

2. Comparisons/Covetousness

There are times a woman expresses that she is married to the wrong man.  She is sure she should have married someone like “Joe”.  When that is said, I’m aware that she is already in danger.  She has thought about “Joe” too much.  “But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.” (Ephesians 5:3).  Comparing her husband and coveting someone else can lead her to sexual immorality.  This immorality can be physical or it can be fulfilled as she watches pornography.  There is real danger here because her heart has already turned from her husband.  She has made up her mind so it would take little convincing for her to step over the line into sin.

3. Curiosity

Curiosity can come about as a result of dreaming and comparisons.  The portrayal of an orgasm in a book or movie causes curiosity to arise within a woman.  She wonders if she can achieve an orgasm like she heard about.  This can lead to self-pleasing as a way to test it.  This self-pleasing can continue on and on to become a habit which replaces normal relations with a husband or becomes a sexual outlet for the single woman.  Another way curiosity is aroused can be on the computer when one of those pesky viruses gets in which will produce a pornographic video in the corner of the screen.  Watching one of those because of curiosity can be the start of a sinful journey.  There are also some women who have husbands who struggle with pornography and they feel the need to watch what their husbands have watched.  Her curiosity is aroused.  She wants to know what these women look like and why she isn’t good enough for her husband. This opens a door that is hard to close.  “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” (Galatians 5:16).  Walking by the Spirit does not include the viewing of sinful material to satisfy a wife’s desire to “know”.

There are many other dangers for women and it is good to be aware of the dangers “so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs.” 2 Corinthians 2:11.   Pornography is a trap which lures women in very subtly but they do not have to fall into it.  The first step is to be aware that pornography is a possibility for women.  We can’t dismiss this any longer.  By recognizing the dangers then women can begin to guard their hearts against the devices used to ensnare them.  How do we do that?  Women need to fight by being alert; using self-control to combat dreaming, comparisons and curiosity. Women may fall into the pornography trap but there is hope in the knowledge of God. It  is a powerful weapon against our fleshly desires.  It is God, His mercy and grace poured out in abundance where help and hope is found.

This is a surface scratching effort to make people aware that some women do struggle with pornography.  May God be praised as we begin to really discuss this issue in order to rescue our sisters who are falling.