Each day with mom is one with new challenges.  At this point in her life, she is losing the ability to use the bathroom.  I have been using Depends with her but up to this point there has only been slight wetness after a couple of days.  All has changed.  I have to check her and change her once or twice a day now.  If I don’t then I have more to clean up.  It is difficult to get her to the bedroom to get changed because as far as my mom is concerned, she is fine.  She likes sitting in her chair.  She doesn’t want to change because she doesn’t realize her need to be changed.  It is a bother to her.  I was so surprised this week at the combativeness I faced while seeking to do what’s best for her.

There are days when I walk into the house; I can smell that a change needs to happen.  This was one of those days.  I spoke with dad for a few minutes and then peeked around the corner at her.  She was sitting quietly on the couch tracing the pattern on the upholstery while she watched a game show from 1978.  I said, “Mom!” and then waved for her to follow me.  She responded well and pushed her way up from the couch as she moved forward slowly.  She followed me down the hall into the bedroom.  I pulled the shade and turned to remove her pants.  She slapped my hand and told me to leave her alone.  This is hard for me as I know what I’m doing is best for her.  She walked around the bed and began to look at her stuffed animals on the floor.

The animals sit on a pillow that mom cross-stitched many years ago.  It has a face of a man and woman on it with Richard and Donna printed underneath.  She said, “Look, me and Richard.”  I smiled at that while shaking my head.  Then she lay down on the bed.  Great, I thought, right where I want her.   So I began to remove her pants.  As I was in this process, she yelled at me, “I’m going to call your supervisor!”  It was all I could do to keep from laughing.  My reply was for her to go ahead and do that.  I was able to complete the change that day with a smile on my face.

After this happened, I began to think about the God application.  My mom doesn’t know she needs to be changed.   She wants to stay in her mess because she just wants to do what she wants without being bothered.   Isn’t that just like us?  It’s certainly just like me.  There are areas in my life that need to change but I don’t want to be bothered to change them.  I want to stay as I am because I like it even if it is messy.  My desires to remain unchanged are greater than they are to follow God by being obedient to His desires.  When convicted I scream, “I’m going to call your supervisor!” but God is the supervisor.  I want to take the place of supervisor over God because I think I know better but I really don’t.  I begin to think my standard of life is better than His but my standard is a mess!!

My supervisor, God, wants me to lie down and rest in Him.  He wants me to pursue His desires for me.  He is the supervisor and I need to surrender my will to His.  This road of progressive sanctification can be hard but our supervisor walks it with us.  He doesn’t send us a memo or an e-mail. He is right in the middle of whatever we are going through.  We need to lie down and recognize Him in the trial.  He walks with us.  We need to lie down and recognize Him when we sin.  He forgives us and walks with us.  Our supervisor is perfect and His desires for us are perfect.  We can trust Him.  “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5

As I work with my mom, I have to depend on her cooperation to keep her clean.  As I live my life, I must depend on God to help me to change where I need to change in order to follow Him in obedience.  Even in working with my mom my dependence really isn’t in her cooperation, my dependence needs to be on God.  My focus needs to be in the right place.  Thank you God for teaching me total dependence on you.