SINGLE WOMEn And the Church

You are not a victim of circumstance.  Your identity is either in Christ or in the world.  If you are a follower of Christ, then you have a charge from the Word of God.

“her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit” 1 Corinthians 7:34

You are to be devoted to the Lord.  What does that look like?  Does it mean that you will never marry?  How does the Lord want to use you?  How are you going to fit into your church?

Being devoted to the Lord is quite a concept.  We don’t really like to devote ourselves to anything because it’s hard work.  Being devoted is complete dedication.  This requires a commitment which is so hard to give…what if something better comes along?  That is how we normally think; but what could be better than God, himself?  If you are single you can be in complete dedication to God as the scripture says; your interest is not divided with a husband.  God is part of every decision at work, at home, at church, in your family, or with your friends.  This will only happen as you choose to seek his counsel from the Word of God regularly.  In doing this, you will begin to understand God.  As you understand who He is, your decisions will be influenced by what you know of him.  You will find yourself in devotion to him.

Does that mean you will never marry?  No.  Following hard after God opens many doors and behind one of them may be a wonderful Christian man who would make a great husband.  The priority is not the man but God.  That is where so many single women get hung up.  They spend so much time on desiring a husband that they lose sight of God.  Do you trust God to handle your life?  Do you trust God to help you in your singleness?  Do you trust God to lead you to a husband?  When you are devoted to God these questions have a simple answer and it is YES!  God’s plans and purposes will not be thwarted.  If he has marriage in mind for you, it will come about in his time and in his way.

If you don’t marry, God is going to use you right where you are.  You can fit into your church by serving in the areas where your gifts are needed.  Seek the Lord and the counsel of others to determine your gifts.  After you know what they are, use them for God’s glory.  Don’t let your singleness stop you from serving God.  You can be a part of many lives regardless of their position in life right now.  Look for ways to serve and then do it!  Join in the fellowship with other people from different places in life.  We can all learn from one another.  Don’t run and hide because you don’t have a mate!  This is not God-honoring.

Devote yourself to God! Seek to please him in all you do!  Live as a follower of Christ!  Remember Miriam…God used her and He will use you too.

THE CHURCH

The followers of Christ make up God’s family.  As God’s family, we are to contribute to, encourage, enjoy and spur-on one another.  The family of God isn’t a group of couples. It’s much broader than that.  We are couples, singles, children, widows, widowers, and divorcees.  Various backgrounds and experiences are represented by each member of the family of God.  We need to remember our job is to benefit one another.  “As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.” 1 Peter 4:10  Our gifts are for the benefit of others in the family.

In the church, we judge single people and find them lacking because of the place they are in their lives.  We are so wrong!  A single person can contribute wisdom in the body of Christ.  Marriage doesn’t equal wisdom.  God’s Word is wisdom.  Our single sisters study, pray, and meditate on the Word.  They are learning much that can be helpful to others.  Our judgments get in the way of reaching out and allowing ourselves to interact with our single sister, instead we dismiss her.

Another judgment that is made against single women is that they are all out to grab a husband.  Because of this judgment women don’t want to invite single women over to dinner out of fear.  They’re afraid that the single woman will be a threat to their marriage.  This fear can cause suspicion, jealousy, and withdrawal.  This fear will lead to a missed opportunity for fellowship and enjoyment.  Be careful to not create this world!  We have to remember that not every single woman is grabbing for a husband.

As followers of Christ, we are all on the road of progressive sanctification which means ups and downs with many changes in our lives.  We have to realize that life doesn’t stay the same.  If we have been in community with all women, married and single, we will gain varied wisdom.  God wants to use every member of his family in many different situations.  We must remember that not only can the single community contribute to the church but the church is to help the single community.  It’s a give and take relationship. God has designed it that way!

Don’t judge the single community!  Embrace the single community!  Unite together to become a family of Christ followers which can’t be separated by role!

“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”  Ephesians 4:1-3