Handling Anger Biblically

Anger is a well-traveled road.  It comes in many forms:  explosive, silent, aggressive, passive-aggressive and vengeance.  There is a tendency to think that because I don’t scream or throw things then I am not angry.  Believe it or not, there are those who claim they are never angry.  Both of these statements are false.  You don’t have to scream to be angry and we have all been angry.  In fact, Paul tells us, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” Ephesians 4:26-27.   Here we see that we are absolutely going to be angry, but are called to not sin in our anger.  Let’s explore the Scriptures to see how to combat our anger.

1. Engage your brain! – “…let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger” James 1:19  We are warned by James here to engage our brain.  We don’t always do that because we just let whatever comes to mind come out of our mouths.  If we first seek to think before we speak we will listening and weigh our words before we utter them.  Without the engaging of the brain, we typically become angry because our minds are so self-focused.  We revert to defensiveness or blame shifting if there is any hint that we are wrong about an issue.  We have got to start thinking!! That is why our brain was given to us.  Let’s use it!
2. Check your desire! – “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?  You desire and do not have, so you murder.  You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.” James 4:1-2  We are angry because our passions are not being fulfilled.  The word here for passions has the idea of lust for pleasure which sounds pretty self-centered, doesn’t it?  We get angry because we want what we want right now.  When others don’t give us what we want, we respond with anger.  We need to check our desires.  If we are continuously angry about something, we have to ask ourselves if we are lusting pleasure.  Once again engaging our brain in order to check our desires.
3. Respond, don’t react! – “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1 It is so easy for us to pounce on someone who has pounced on us.  When angry words are thrown at us, we want to outdo those words with some angry ones of our own.  This is a reaction to how we are being spoken to but not really a response to what is being said.  We need to be ready to respond.  We need to take the time to swallow our harsh answer and produce a soft one.  The reality is that the person who is spewing will have a hard time knowing what to do with a soft answer.  Do you see the pattern developing here?  There is no way to give a soft answer without engaging our brain.
4. Love well! – “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” Romans 12:10  Love is a choice.  Love is service.  Love is not about me but about the other person.  We are to love well by outdoing one another in service, honor, encouragement and provisions.  This love is not known for anger.  This love does not point the finger at another and say, “You make me angry”.  This love is humble.  We cannot love well unless we choose to be humble.  To be humble we see ourselves not as better than others but as lesser than others.  This is hard work.  We have to be very aware of our thoughts and actions.  Sounding familiar?  Yes we have to engage our brain in order to think in a humble way.
5. Imitate God! – “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.” Ephesians 5:1 We are imitate our Father.  We are to desire to be like Him.  What is He like?  “…The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness,” Exodus 34:6  Our Father is slow to anger.  He does not delight in anger.  He is not known for His anger.  He is loving, merciful, gracious and faithful.  All of these characteristics promote being slow to anger.  We need to imitate God’s characteristics as His children.  It is not easy but as we engage our brain, we will recognize our failures more often.  After we recognize our failures, we can begin to choose to be like Him.

This is not an exhaustive list from the Scriptures of how to handle anger but if we put #1 into practice on a regular basis, we will go far.  Our goal needs to be to travel a new road; one that includes brain activity to overcome our anger.