All that I write doesn’t belong to me, but to God. I thought I believed that and lived that way, but I didn’t. If you have followed me, I’m sure you’ve notice that it has actually been a year since I have blogged. There’s a reason for that, which has to do with my own insecurities and ideas of ownership. I’m not proud of myself at all concerning this. Please bear with me as I share what God has taught me in the last few months. 

In the fall of 2023, I pitched an article to Gospel Centered Discipleship about singles in the church. It was about the church culture and some things that need to change to make our singles feel welcomed. In the editing of this article, I was totally crushed in the process. It was not done on purpose to hurt me. The choice of response in the process was totally my own. You see, I felt like this was MY article and that I could present it however I wanted to. The whole process was taken so personally by me that I stopped writing. What a childish response!

In the midst of this response, I never once considered that the article and the ability to write it belonged to God. I was not called to write for myself but for Him. You see, I forgot this. As a result, I’ve missed out on sharing about God. I haven’t taken time to connect with others about the things I’m learning. I kept everything to myself. Is this what God wants from us? Absolutely not! “Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us.”                                                                              2 Corinthians 5:20a It’s not likely that we’ll be an ambassador when we shut down. You see what Paul says here, God is making is his appeal through us. I stopped making an appeal for God when I took ownership of my writing.

There was much fear associated with my ownership. I didn’t want to put anything out there again for someone to tear apart. I was afraid of what others would say or do. Fear is a powerful emotion and can convince us to roll up into a ball to hide from everyone. There is a healthy fear given to us by God for our protection, but fear of man is not healthy. We are warned in Scripture many times to not give into the fear of man and yet, we fall into it. I certainly did.  “The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trust in the LORD is safe.” Proverbs 29:25 The snare was set and I was caught. Rather than trusting in God during the process, I gave into my emotional fear and quit.

BUT GOD…

In mid-December, I received an email from the man who had edited the article concerning singles and the church. By the way, he was never unkind to me, only helpful. He wrote asking me if I would allow this article to be one of the chapters of a book that was being published about the church. I was blown away by this request. I gave him permission. A year of being shut down and fearful had come to an end. Why? Because God showed me that the article was His, not mine. He used it in spite of my failures to continue to be an ambassador for Him. The fear that I’ve lived with was not an obstacle for Him. He wanted his article shared and made it happen.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

I’ve confessed my sin and have been forgiven by my God and Savior. It has humbled me to know that God can and will use what I write for His glory and the good of His children. So, I’m making a commitment to be His ambassador in all areas of life, knowing He owns everything! Yes, the book is published. I’ve prayed God will use every chapter in there for the good of the church. Thank you for reading my story. I hope that if there is something in your life you’re holding onto, you will let go of it, giving it back to God. After all, it is His!