Power with Purpose is the first book I’ve read which addresses marriage in a more comprehensive biblical manner. Marriage between two believers is about living out who they are in Christ and the power given to them to do that. Marriage between a believer and an unbeliever is also about the believer being Christ in the marriage and using His power to do that. So, when I began to read this book, I was so excited about the board look at the power each believer has in a marriage and how to use it. In the past years, in the church, we have looked so exclusively at headship and submission that we’ve missed out on having abundant life in our marriages.

“Nearly every book on marriage talks about marital roles. It has been our experience, though, that most don’t talk about them from a robust biblical perspective. They reduce these roles simply to headship and submission. They leave out important balancing terms and instructions and thus fail to put the proper emphasis on love.” Page 19

So, what does power have to do with love? Dave and Krista lead us to understand what our power is to be used for in our marriages. The following quote from their book shows us exactly how power is used for love.  

“Using power to help others flourish means that we use our strength, influence, assets, privileges, positions, and more so that others will thrive. We imitate Christ by laying down our rights in order to meet someone else’s needs.” Page 29

This is the flavor of this book, love. The first two chapters help us to understand power and how it can be used in our marriages to show love to our spouse. We readily know that we are love our neighbor as ourself and will put in the effort to do so. The problem is our closest neighbor, our spouse, we don’t put the same kind of effort into loving them. The challenge in this book is to step up and love our closest neighbor using the power God has given us.

To help our spouses to flourish is very much the subject of this book. The power we have been given by God is not strictly for our benefit but for our spouse’s benefit as well. Are we seeking their best interest? Dave and Krista spend time expounding on mutual sacrifice within marriage. As Paul states in Philippians 2:3, “…in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” We are to help our spouses flourish considering them as more significant than ourselves. This is the way of Christ. Not all in a marriage follow this way of thinking. The Dunhams address that very well on pages 60-61 as they explain what it means to speak the truth in love. There are times when sin needs to brought up by either husband or wife in order for true flourishing to take place.

Our authors made sure to include many practical tools for both husbands and wives. In fact, each have their own chapter. This gives us greater clarity whether husband or wife. It’s also such a help to read about each one which brings about a greater understanding of each other and what God has called us to be in our marriage.

I loved the shared vision chapter. This really gives us clarity on how our partnership in marriage works. In this partnership, each has their own power which is brought to the table. I was glad this was in the book because it’s an aspect of marriage that isn’t talked about enough. To really grasp a shared vision keeps us from becoming just roommates and contributes to our oneness. This chapter is worth the price of the book.

Dave and Krista are very complete as they have added appendices which cover abuse in marriage. This is an area where power is misused so much and causes great harm. Even if you are not in an abusive marriage, it is so good to really understand the aspects of abuse and how it affects both husband and wife.

I highly recommend this book. I think every couple needs to read it before their marriage. It is that good. Is it biblical? Absolutely! The pages are filled with good theology and many practical ways to live out power in marriage. Dave and Krista are good friends to me. I’m so very proud of the vulnerability and wisdom they have shared with us. By the way, I would recommend the book even if we weren’t friends. 😊